Before you start bashing me, I’d like to start by saying, good for you, congratulations if you are married and had your share of haldi, mehendi, and kanyadaan, I am genuinely happy for you, but I get to have my own choice of the train of thoughts.
The past couple of days have been great, things have changed positively, and it feels slowly things are happening the way I’d want in terms of life, career, and goals, but it has also come to my understanding that weddings overall just aren’t my cup of tea. And don’t get me wrong, I am not against marriage, I have nothing wrong with being married, but to lead to a marriage, you need a wedding, and that itself is beyond my coping. This excessive and often purposeless nature of weddings that I have sensed of course while emphasizing that my stance does not diminish the importance of marriage itself.
Why can’t we put children’s love above both the family’s Fancy Rites and belief mania?
Isn’t it totally unfair that two sets of families should take more initiative in asking what children want and in what way? Why do the love and commitment of the children not take precedence over the need to be so firm on one’s personal ritualistic agenda? No matter how much India has progressed, it hasn’t progressed on the thought that a wedding is for two people first and later followed by their families, and then the associated religious, communal, and ritualistic aspects which are absolutely shit.
Riti-Rivaaz is the shiz, your marzi can retire, please!
While embracing rituals, cultural amalgamations, and traditions can be quite the grand thing you want, but, what’s the point if it doesn’t bring us comfort in the end? I mean, sure, believing in the gods and performing holy poojas is fantastic, but can we all just take a deep breath and loosen our ceremonial collars a bit?
And let’s not forget, amidst all the chaos, that a wedding is simply a celebration of two people choosing to spend their lives together. If we really want to appease the gods, we can reserve the rituals for separate havans and satyanarayans, where one can enjoy the pomp of praying to their heart’s content.
Trust me, no gods would be offended if you let the wedding happen in your own comfortable way. In fact, I’m pretty sure they’d frown upon making the marrying children unhappy in the process.
‘’ Hamare yaha aisa hota hai and tumhare yaha aisa’’
Well, with due respect to all the cultures including mine, but screw what our culture says, even mine! I don’t care and nobody else should. It is always the best of decision if you let the boy and girl decide how they wish to do it instead of putting your old, aged customs onto them. Don’t be all – we want to spend it on receptions this way and we want to perform the ritual this way. Let’s move from ‘ hamare’ and ‘ tumhare’ to ‘ ‘ what looks best aj kal ke zamane mein’ please?
Can we skip to the good part?
The idea of marriage is great. One can water plants, and the other can clean up and it would be so easy if we could jump straight into the sweet bliss of marriage. Picture it: an idealistic friendship and companionship where we can thrive and live and let each other live. That is my idea of marriage. That is all. Sounds amazing, right?
I told my mom yesterday I only want a live-in relationship, she said the very next moment she’s pretty cool about it, she doesn’t mind, but reception is a must. I said reception for hosting a live-in relationship for me would be great. LOL.
No, but seriously, to whoever the wedding and the chaos behind it works, great, happy for you, it’s not my cup of tea although, and will never be. A wedding day is supposedly the “best day of your life.” But for me, it would be a breeding ground for panic attacks, a never-ending stream of “now what happened?!” moments, and a delightful dose of uncertainty. I don’t want it, I am happy in my night suit, chilling at home and watching cricket matches where India is losing.
Listen up, folks! I’m not here to hold a “change my mind” sign because I firmly believe there’s nothing wrong with what I’m saying. Now, don’t worry, I’m not trying to force you all to agree with me either. I’m just here to share my thoughts and have a good laugh about it. I am also not saying I will never not get married, but I am just not ready for a wedding as of yet in my head and this is one of the only singular times of my life where I thought, life would have been great if I would have not belonged to this country, or South Asia at large.
You see, I’ve prided myself on being independent my whole life, strutting around like a boss. But the thought of succumbing to customs and traditions feels like a personal heartbreak. It’s like I’m breaking up with myself, and trust me, that’s a messy breakup.
So, my friends, let’s raise our glasses to this peculiar moment. Cheers to navigating the complexities of our cultural landscape while trying to hold onto who you are and what you want.